See that #20 up there? He was in my womb almost 15 years ago. Shocking, I know.
Do you ever find yourself missing your kids? I mean your little kids? I miss my two year old Coley. He was so grown up even back then. So sweet and blond and covered in the sweetest dimples and full of "matter-of-fact" talking.
I miss my four year old Coley too. My Pre-K student that used to accidentally tie himself to his chair, draw the best ducks and inform the lunchroom ladies that they should get his Mama's mashed potato recipes cause it's lots better.
My six year old Coley is especially close to my heart. He must have known something was wrong at home. He had a hard time separating from me in the mornings at the school drop off. I remember writing him a note every morning and telling him he couldn't read it until he kissed me goodbye at his classroom door. It was the only way he would leave without feeling sad. He would keep it in his little pocket all day long. Once he lost it and the entire class stopped what they were doing to find it for him. He still goes to school with those same students.
That eight year old Cole........ loved baseball practice but hated football practice. Still making straight A's and talking up a storm. He was my "Man of the house" and was sure to let his little brother know every single chance he got.
On my wedding day, my 10 year old Cole gave me away to Darren. He also picked a little yellow flower the day of the wedding that I carefully tucked away into my bouquet. It stood out of my pink roses as much as he stands out among his peers today.
That 12 year old boy Cole....... became a big brother to a baby sister that year. He was the one to teach her stuff and to protect her. His role that he makes clear to this day. Amelia Claire loves her Coley and so will baby Avonlea.
Now, he's 14 and taller than me. For the last 2 years he has made it to the top 10% of his class. He plays his trumpet better than any other kid in his grade. He won a regional competition for the FBLA this year for business presentation and makes it to baseball practice everyday. He was also confirmed at church last year and is a strong member of our church. He's quite the salesman too........ stay far away during fund raising time. He also asks to drive daily, he's inching ever closer to his learner's permit.
He is also inching very close to leaving his Mom.
I feel the pull everyday. I think it's because I'm pregnant with my last and he was my first. He was perfect. The most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I couldn't believe how much I loved him as soon as I saw him and would do what I needed to, to protect him.
Through the years he's driven me nuts with his "smart brainy talk", his loud chewing, and his slowpoke ways........ but I wouldn't trade those moments for anything.
He's my tester child, the experiment, the proto-type. There is so much I wish I could redo with my raising of him, mostly my patience...... I guess that will have to wait.
Until then, I must take the time with him...... time is ticking away.
